I explained in the past that I’m a spiritual mother or a mother from the heart, in that I didn’t legally adopt my children, but I created a bond with them, a connection, where we love each other as mother and children.
There are no papers, only love, and I don’t substitute myself to their birth or adoptive mother, but they add me as an extra mom to love and take care of them.
Furthermore, there’s no age limit: some of my spiritual children are grown-up people who are older than me.
This is the essence of what an adoption from the heart is: a loving connection between two people of any age where one loves as the mother and the other loves as the child.
How do adoptions from the heart work?
In my experience, it generally happens the same way that “love at first sight” does. Only, it’s the first connection instead of the first sight. Other times the sentiment is born after some time when the person and I have already started a relationship, like a friendship or an acquaintance.
Something in me tells me that person is my child, and my heart fills with joy and longing for that little or big person, and I feel a desire to bond with them. And the other person feels just the same, as a child.
From that moment on, we are a family, and we begin to bond.
What do birth mothers think about adoptions from the heart?
My experience with my children’s birth mothers is variable. Most have accepted me as their spiritual sister. Others don’t know about me because their children (adults) think they’re not obligated to disclose this relationship from the heart, given that they’re adults.
However, my encouragement even to adult children is always to disclose because our relationship would enrich the whole extended family, and for their mothers to feel safe and loved in the case they found out.
I’ve had to give up on one adult child many years ago because their mother got jealous of our relationship. It was a heartbreaking moment for both of us because although we renamed the relationship into a friendship, our real feelings remained the same.
So I feel it’s critical to let mothers know of adoptions from the heart, and to seek their approval in the case of smaller children because they’ll always be their most important mothers.
Remember, a mother from the heart is an “extra” mom and doesn’t replace birth or adoptive parents.
Finally, I would recommend seeking spiritual sisterhood and friendship with your children’s moms, as both mothers may need to be on the same page on certain matters related to the child (like breastfeeding), and to enrich the relationships in the extended family.
Adoptions from the heart can be a blessing in a family’s life, but they take an honest approach and an open heart from all parties involved.
As an adoptive mother from the heart myself, my best advice is always to put not only your spiritual children but even their mothers and families first, even when it comes to sacrificing some of your position. If it means preserving your children and their families’ happiness, it’s a good thing to do.
Mothers from the heart are like guardian angels.
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